Self Care Tips

Self-care is very important for healing from, management of, and coping with trauma.  And while one practice might not work for everyone, there are many different types of practices to try and find what works best for you. Below are different categories and examples of self care and healing practices as suggested by Alameda County consumers and family members.

Five friends

Top 10 Healing Practices Reported by Alameda County Consumers and Family Members

  1. Spirituality or spiritual practices (i.e. prayer, connections to something higher)
  2. Peer Support, talking with those who have shard lived experiences
  3. Building community, being an active member in community,
  4. Empowerment through learning and psychoeducation
  5. Meditation
  6. WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
  7. Being accepted, not judged
  8. Having compassionate friends, caregivers, and providers, creating real human connection with others
  9. Therapy and medication
  10. Helping others

Spirituality/Spiritual Healing

Spiritual healing practices include traditional religions (i.e., Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, etc.), but can also be more broadly a sense of spirituality (a sense that things are sacred). These healing practices provide comfort through the idea that there is something greater than us- a higher power- that is at work. Often there is a sense that this higher power is helping to guide us during struggle and cares about our health and well being. Spiritual practices include belief and faith – either in a specific God or more broadly in a sense that things happen for a reason and that struggle can be a process of growth.

Examples of Spiritual Healing Practices:

  • Support from traditional healers within community
  • Talking Circle – Native American practice
  • Prayer
    • Talking to God
    • Asking for guidance
  • Evangelizing and preaching to others
  • Holding/touching the Koran
  • Feeling a need to make meaning out of difficult experiences
  • Participation in women’s groups within churches as a time to share with sisters, cousins, aunts
  • Praying for blue skies, having faith that better times will come
  • Spirituality
  • Traditional counselor
  • Ask Monk for support/prayer
  • Buddhist Practice
  • Belief in and relationship with Jesus
  • Belief in or finding a high power
  • Belief in God
  • Reading the Bible
  • Participation in spiritual or religious practice such as church or synagogue
  • Learning from belief systems of different religions
  • Weekly religious reading
  • Receiving spiritual support
  • Finding shelters that allow faith based communities to come in
  • Feeling “unconditional love and support for who I am, the way I am”
  • Listening to spiritual music
  • Reading or reciting daily affirmations
  • Repenting to God
  • Going to Mosque
  • Belief in creator
  • Letting the spirit guide me
  • Attending a Catholic Church
  • Experiencing spiritual healing
  • Meditating
  • Tibetan Sunday school in Berkeley to help teach traditions and rituals
  • Looking at mental health from within a traditional cultural lens and relating it to spirit and nature.
  • Spending time in, and feeling a connection to, nature
  • Rituals for the self in order to prepare for those times when we know that it will be hard (e.g. anniversaries of death for loved ones, reminders of tragedy/trauma). A way to remember in a healthy way.

 Safe and Peaceful Settings

Safe and Peaceful Settings practices involve making the spaces you inhabit or frequent feel safe and peaceful. Working to make your physical spaces as peaceful and pleasing as possible can help quiet inner turmoil and create a place for needed rest and healing.  Safe and peaceful settings should inspire calm and control. Creating Safe Spaces and/or peaceful settings is also a form of self-care in which one gets to express and prioritize needs.

Examples of Safe and Peaceful Settings Healing Practices:

  • Moving to a more supportive/tolerant community
  • Finding safety and having confidentiality
  • Feeling safe
  • Shelters (“a place to be with my children while I healed”)
  • Having a safe space to think and work
  • Alone time -to allow time to think
  • Being in nature
  • Learning how to relax
  • Physically remove myself from an area of crisis – go on vacation, move, take a break, walk away
  • Having a roof over one’s head where it is safe to then work on the trauma, healing, and problems.
  • Having a bed to sleep in.
  • Getting off the street.
  • “Being in an environment where I am allowed to feel what I feel rather than just shutting down.”
  • Finding your own space, physical relocation, taking time for oneself.
  • Pictures of animals on therapist’s walls, peaceful setting
  • Keep yourself away from people, places, or things that make you come down
  • Finding peace
  • Getting away from the trauma, remove self from that situation
  • Getting away from prostitution
  • Playing in the sandbox with rocks in therapist’s office
  • Making art, enjoying the creative process
  • Making music
  • Looking at pictures of people I love
  • Dancing to get out extra energy and relax

Family Support

The healing practice of Family Support involves being connected to loved ones. This could be biological family linked by blood or it could be people that have become your family through love and dedication (i.e. our “chosen family”). Families are often very important and influential in our lives. If it is possible, having the love and support of family members can be very healing. Family support is different from family contact though. Family contact is seeing and talking to family. Family support is being helped in meaningful ways by family members who offer their unconditional love and do not stigmatize our struggles. (Please note: If family contact is difficult or complicates our healing process significantly, we may need outside help addressing this or we may need to take space or distance.)

Examples of Family Support Healing Practices:

  • Ancestors – “Remembering how much ancestors have suffered and gave for me to be here. This helps me want to move my culture forward.”
  • “Being taken care of by someone else – makes you feel valued and loved”
  • Building relationships
    • Connecting with family
  • Communication
    • “Realization and recognition of the trauma and that I was not alone. This was empowering. It allowed me to talk to loved ones and ask for help.”
    • Call home country and talk to someone there
    • Talking to husband
  • Receiving financial support
  • Being with family
  • Helping other family members
    • “Providing care for children helps a person keep going”
    • Advocating for my family members
    • Becoming a citizen in order to move parents from China to the United States
    • Encouraging older child to act as role model for younger child
  • Marriage
  • Offering tough love
  • Staying connected
  • Support
    • Natural processes with support of family and friends
    • Support from loved one/partner
  • Unconditional love

Peer Support

Peer Support Practices involve being connected to other people who have similar experiences or struggles. Trauma can create feelings of being alone, being bad, or being broken. Hearing other peoples’ stories, having shared lived experiences with “people who have been there,” and feeling commonality are important aspects of healing.  By being understanding, nonjudgmental, and accepting, Peer Support helps challenge and rewrite these feelings/beliefs.

Examples of Peer Support Healing Practices:

  • Availability of a safe space on Friday night for youth to go to
  • Cross cultural connection with other youth of color
  • Relatable people (within same ethnic group, similar experiences)
  • Talking with others at the Afghan coalition
  • Community based programs that allow you to share your story and be advocates for someone else (such as TAY-I, PEERS, HHERC, POCC, etc.)
  • “Sometimes it takes one person to put their stuff out there for everyone else to grow”
    • Connecting/talking with peers or others who have shared lived experiences
    • Close friends with similar experience
  • Connecting with others that have experienced similar things (validation)
  • Meaningful engagement in community – connection with others, commitment to and from others
  • Participation in support groups (transgender support group, HIV support group)
  • Having the support of POCC community
  • Mothers support groups with others who speak the same language
  • Elderly women support group
  • Grandparents raising grandchildren support group
  • Real human connection with peers
  • Supportive peers
  • Being around people who understand you
  • Meeting one-on-one with advocate from within culture
  • Attending workshops and conferences – being around people who have gone through similar issues
  • Participation in a self-help group
  • Participation in a women’s support group or other type of support group
  • One-on-one relationships help you grow from within
  • Organizations that foster connection with each other
  • When in any inpatient situation (hospital for physical health, mental health, or jail) and having someone who genuinely asks how you are. “This makes such a difference and having someone on staff who has been there too makes the healing process easier”.
  • Someone there to help give hope – it puts strength in the heart
  • Peer-to peer support for adults and youth
  • Sharing with peers
  • Outreach to others
  • Having a support system – identifying people to call during a crisis
  • Use of peer network
  • Finding friends within an organization or treatment setting. “This helps a lot. This lets people be open to everyone else.”
  • “Helpful to know that I am not the only one experiencing mental health issues”
  • Talk with friends
  • Peer support/mentoring – teaching and sharing with one another
  • Feels good to have somebody who went through what you went through say “I did this, I don’t know if this will help you, but you can try it.”
  • Having someone help get you off the street
  • Having the help of other people
  • It helps to know “these people care, I gotta stop.”
  • People being understanding about the coping mechanisms one chooses to use.
  • Laughing with friends
  • Coming to the Afghan coalition for support and a chance to be with other Afghani people.
  • Involvement with recovery community (AA, NA, SLAA, etc.)
  • Having your own support network
  • Fai Kava (a drink that brings men together for social gathering)
  • Developmental play group for children under 5, a chance to meet other parents
  • Supporting the community
  • Try to help someone else who is in the same situation
  • Story sharing/narratives (needs to be in a safe space, with peers, non-judgmental)
  • Family/friends giving unconditional love, staying connected, and offering tough love, and financial support
  • Being taken care of by someone else – makes you feel valued and loved
  • Support from loved one/partner
  • Grief classes
  • Staying happy and surrounded by positive people
  • Women’s groups within churches – a time to share with sisters, cousins, and aunts
  • Going to queer events so I don’t feel so different
  • Talking with others who have also been in foster care

Community/Network

The healing practice of Community means having a meaningful connection to a group that helps each other. Community is an important part of health (physical and mental) and healing.  Within a community or network, people often feel a sense of value, self worth, purpose, and reciprocity. Having, building, or finding community helps alleviate the aloneness that trauma can create.

Examples of Community/Network Healing Practices:

  • Advocacy/Activism
    • Being active in community organizations
    • “Finding a way to make change – not even focused just on mental health but creating a better society”
  • Being allowed to share one’s voice/story with others
  • Building community
    • Inviting people into homes and sharing with friends
    • Volunteering to make food or entertain at large community events
    • Being in community
    • Community building activities
    • Giving back to the community
    • Meaningful engagement in community – connection with others, commitment to and from others
  • Commitment from others and providers
    • “Real human connection with providers and peers”
    • “Supportive peers and staff.”
  • Community support
  • Community/Culture specific clinics, programs, and resources (Latino)
  • Connecting with community based organizations or community centers  –
    • Best Now Program
    • Senior Centers
    • The POCC
    • Afghan Coalition
    • TAY-I
    • Peers
    • HHERC
    • East Bay Pride
    • Youth in Mind
    • California Youth Connection
    • FERC
  • Cross cultural connection with other youth of color
  • Cultural events/rituals –
    • Funerals, weddings, holidays, etc. because these are times when everyone comes together
  • Developmental play group for children under 5 and meeting other parents
  • English as a Second Language (ESL) classes
  • Family partners
  • Having your own support network
  • Helping others
    • Making a difference in somebody else’s life who has experienced difficulties
    • “Sharing knowledge and education I received”
    • “Sometimes it takes one person to put their stuff out there for everyone else to grow”
    • “Share and support others towards healing”
  • Involvement with recovery community – Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotic Anonymous, Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, etc.
  • Learning about Black culture and getting involved politically
  • Making others laugh and smile
  • Meaningful engagement in community –
    • Connection with others, commitment to and from others
  • Moving to a more supportive/tolerant community
  • Peers/shared lived experiences
    • Finding relatable people
    • “Within same ethnic group, caring for family members of the same age”
    • “Coming together with peers with shared lived experiences”
    • “Being around people who understand you”
  • Seeking out role models
  • Sharing with elders
  • Sit with friends or talk on the phone
    • “I call my home country and talk to someone there.”
  • Support groups
    • Transgender support group
    • HIV support group
    • Mother support group
    • Support group in same language
    • Elderly women support group
  • Traditional healers within community
  • Transitional Age Youth (TAY) Programs
    • “Gives a space to express my voice, someone hears my trauma, people accept me for who I am.” (Community programs)
  • Visiting churches
    • “Not because of religion, but because they are places to gather when community is so dispersed and disconnected.”
  • Visits from dignitaries from our/your culture
  • Volunteering/giving back –
    • “To a program that relates to the trauma you have experienced”
  • Witnessing the healing of others

Empowerment

People who have experienced trauma, particularly those who belong to groups that historically have been marginalized may often feel disempowered – feeling a sense of powerlessness and hopelessness. Empowerment is the process of supporting individuals and communities to reconnect with their personal power and strength.

Examples of Empowerment Healing Practices:

  • Action
    • “Taking opportunities for change and growth, not just venting but figuring out what we can do about it”
    • Continue to do something, anything with your life
    • Becoming a US citizen in order to move my parents from China to the US
  • Advocacy/Activism
    • Advocating for family members
    • Being active in community organizations
    • Community activism
    • Involvement with POCC
    • Find a way to make change – not even just focused on mental health but also on creating a better society.
    • Activist groups for youth
    • Being an advocate
    • Advocates going with parents to schools to act as brokers and work through language barrier.
  • Communication with providers
    • Telling therapists (or other providers) what works for you or your family
    • Feeling empowered to ask providers questions
    • “Being able to describe my experience in my own words and terms and not the provider defining everything.”
  • Community Involvement
    • Community building activities
    • Involvement with POCC
    • Giving back to community
    • Knowing what resources are out there.
  • Culture
    • “Learning black culture and getting involved”
    • Meeting one-on-one with advocate from within culture
  • Employment
    • Employment gives sense of healing and feeling of productivity
    • “Having a job helps me feel productive in society and keeps me busy. My job acts as a distraction from trauma.”
    • Employment opportunities
  • Finding role models
  • Healthy Relationships
    • Staying away from or cutting out “toxic” people
  • Helping Others
    • “Learning from your situation and helping others in the same situation – helping others helps me to make sense of it.”
    • “Making a difference in somebody else’s life who has experienced difficulties.”
    • “I’m not healed but I am healing and I am helping others heal”
    • Model for others – “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
  • Learning and Psychoeducation
    • Knowing one’s rights
    • “Being introduced to the idea that I could be well, that I could recover, that recovery was an option.”
    • “Explaining to neighbors what a 5150 is;”
    • “Having the knowledge and skills, and being able to share and educate friends, family and neighbors about what’s going on”
    • “Sharing the knowledge and education I received.”
    • “Realizing and recognizing that I was traumatized and that I was not alone this was empowering. It allowed me to talk to loved ones and ask for help.”
    • “Learning about medication, resources in the area, and about the illnesses my family was experiencing.”
    • “Getting educated about the system.”
    • “Educating myself on how the brain works.”
    • “Educating myself about trauma, etc.”
    • Get educated on what you need to stay safe.
    • Education on diabetes and physical health
    • Learn about trauma and its impacts to normalize my experiences and create a sense of agency (that I could do something about it)
    • Educating self on what mental health is and what different disorders mean.
    • Understanding what is happening to the self and mental health.
    • Learn about parenting and raising my daughter.
  • Religion
    • Evangelizing and preaching to others
    • Feeling stronger by going to church
  • Talking about it
    • Confront perpetrator
    • Share my story
    • Language
    • Digital story telling done by TAY youth
    • Gaining language skills – ESL classes
    • Asking for help
  • Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)
    • “It helps me to identify me. I got to put down what I was feeling, what I want, and develop self-knowledge.”
    • Tailor the program for the self.
    • You can share with your provider, you get control over your healing and you   process; empowerment; providers are more willing to discuss/collaborate; service providers need to go through the curriculum training as well.

Taking Time to Participate in Activities

Stressful situations in a person’s life can feel overwhelming. It may even begin to feel that there is no time or place that is quiet, safe, and sacred where one can reflect and relax. The practice of taking time away is important in healing from trauma as it provides a space to unwind, decompress, and begin the healing process. This may look different for each person.

Examples of Taking Time to Participate in Activities/ Healing Practices:

  • Journaling
  • Escape/create own world in writing or journaling
  • Watching Telanovelas (Spanish soap operas) (especially ones that talk about mental health in some capacity. It is a way for community members to talk about mental health, but indirectly, lessens stigma)
  • Having dinner with a friend
  • Watching Hindi movies
  • Watching Korean soap operas
  • Window shopping
  • Shopping
  • Listening to books on CD
  • Knitting
  • Taking time for self
  • Computer games to keep the mind from going to dark places
  • Reading books
    • Finish a book (you accomplish something and when reading get to escape into a different story)
  • Watching cartoons
  • Attending concerts/live music
  • Visiting the Ocean
  • Having pets – giving care to something else, being relied on
  • Getting away into nature
  • Sitting in the park
  • Sitting by a tree
  • Spending time with children/youth
  • Music (lessons, concerts, playing an instrument)
  • Playing
  • Laughing
  • Regressing to childhood – play with dolls/toys to help self heal
  • Relating to characters in movies “Shrek”, “Wizard of Oz”, “ET”
  • Finding a new passion, turn negative into positive
  • Finding something to do, something positive to spend time on
  • Taking a vacation
  • Listening to soft, relaxing melody
  • Getting a break away from kids
  • Watching happy movies
  • Taking a beading class
  • Taking a sewing class
  • Singing – gospel music and other
  • Arts, crafts
  • Volunteering to make food or entertain at the large community events
  • Going to college/getting an education
  • Being in nature
  • Rescuing dogs
  • Getting a massage
  • Sleeping, crying – taking the time to withdraw
  • Caring for children helps an individual to keep going
  • Learning how to relax
  • Physically remove self from area of crisis – go on vacation, move, take a break
  • Spending time in nature

Group Therapy

Healing from trauma may feel overwhelming and too big a task for any one person to do alone. Group therapy is often an effective and meaningful way to heal from trauma. Group therapy can include any helping process that takes place in a group setting, including support groups (Alcoholics Anonymous, Domestic Violence Survivors, Parenting Groups), skills training groups (anger management, mindfulness, relaxation training or social skills training), and psycho-education groups (learning about trauma or depression). Having shared experiences with the group can reduce group members’ sense of isolation, validate their experiences, and raise self-esteem. In a group that has members at various stages of development or recovery, a member can be inspired and encouraged by another member who has overcome the problems with which they are still struggling.

Examples of Group Therapy Healing Practices:

  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
  • Conferences
  • Grief classes or support groups
  • Group therapy benefits –
    • Talking about issues with others and with therapist
    • Being around people who have gone through it
  • Qualities of relationships with providers  –
    • Making positive connections with providers (medical, mental health, behavioral health)
    • Clinician speaking my own first language
    • Bilingual therapist
  • Self help group
  • Support groups
  • TAY-I (Transition Age Youth – Initiative)
    • “Gives me the space to express my voice, someone will hear my trauma, people accept me for who I am. Being allowed to share my voice.”
  • Learning to utilize services to the best of my ability
  • Veterans Groups
  • Women’s support group

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy is a safe, confidential space to help people work on whatever issues they choose. The goal of therapy is to reduce the impact of the problems that the person is suffering from and help them live more enjoyable, fulfilling lives. People come to therapy for many different reasons, sometimes because they feel empty or sad, desire more satisfying relationships, or would like to learn new ways to cope. While there are many different types of therapists, and styles of therapies, in choosing a therapist, it is important for the individual to feel they will be able to trust and connect with their therapist.

Examples of Individual Therapy Healing Practices:

  • Animal therapy (using therapeutic animals)
  • Community Based Therapy –
    • Therapy from someone based in the community (not office)
  • EMDR
  • Dance therapy
  • Music therapy
  • Art therapy
  • Expressive arts therapy
  • Qualities of relationships with providers  –
    • Making positive connections with providers (medical, mental health, behavioral health)
    • Clinician speaking my own first language
    • Bilingual therapist
    • Providers who “take their time” and do not rush me.
    • Trusting providers
    • “Try and try again to find a therapist that is right for you. You have to be persistent.”
    • Safety and confidentiality
  • Safety planning, identifying triggers, and coping skills
  • Playing with sandbox with rocks in therapist’s office
  • Seeking Safety
  • Supportive therapeutic settings.
  • Talking to a professional/therapist
  • Therapy
  • Utilizing services to the best of my ability
  • Weekly therapy

Counseling- Family

Family counseling involves sessions with a professional counselor or therapist to discuss and work through specific issues or the general relationship between family members. Family counseling can involve the entire family or can be between just a few people in the family. It can be helpful in creating better communication between individuals, help to aid one person in discussing their trauma or abuse, work through loss or grief, and improve overall family relationships.

Body-Based and Mindfulness Healing Practices

These practices aid in relieving stress, helping to release and decrease trauma memories stored in the body, and create feelings of being centered and calm. Many people who engage in such practices report feeling more self aware, an increased ability to focus on the present moment, and more connection with their body and whole self.

Examples of Body-Based and Mindfulness Healing Practices:

  • Body work – acupuncture, massage therapy, acupressure
  • Breathing into a bag
  • Deep breathing/breathing techniques
  • Dragon boats
  • Going for a walk
  • Getting and giving a massage
  • Meditation – formal or even just deep breaths throughout day
  • Movement
  • Reiki
  • Sitting by myself
  • Taking an hour a day to do a healing practice
  • Martial art (e.g. Qigong, Tai chi, etc.)
  • Practicing mindfulness
  • Gratitude practices
  • Yoga

Art Therapy

These activities are great at helping to increase self-expression at times that are often difficult to find words to express oneself. These activities can also bring out an inner child in that they are not restrictive, activate the senses (touch, smell), allow us to get messy, can involve play, and can be used to create something for oneself or something to display for others to see.

Examples of Art Therapy Healing Practices:

  • Art
  • Crafts
  • Art groups for youth
  • Digital story telling done by TAY youth (http://www.peersnet.org/videos/shine-full-length-version)
  • “Doing cross stitch because it keeps my mind busy, relaxes me, and calms nerves.”
  • Escape by creating own world through writing or journaling
  • Expressive art therapy including poetry, writing, and making collages
  • Poetry/spoken word slams or open mike

Self-help/ Improvement/ Reflection

These activities help people to feel powerful, to be responsible for their own recovery, and feel they are moving at their own pace. These activities can be done alone and can be used at difficult/lonely times to create a positive internal space to continue healing even while not in the presence of others such as therapists or friends.

Examples of Self-help/ Improvement/ Reflection Healing Practices:

  • Taking an hour a day to do a healing practice
  • Witnessing the healing of others
  • “Being introduced to the idea that I could be well, that I could recover, that recovery was an option.”
  • Modeling for other family members that “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
  • Wellness Recovery Action Program (WRAP)
    • “Helps me to identify me.”
    • “Got to put down what I was feeling, what I want, and develop self-knowledge.”
    • One can tailor the program for the self, can share with his or her provider.
    • You get control over your healing and your process – empowerment
    • Providers are more willing to discuss/collaborate and they need to go through the curriculum training as well
  • Continue to do something, anything with your life
  • Hoping for better life for children
  • Stay happy and surrounded by positive people
  • Get education and new perspectives to help you understand what is going on w/ you
  • Being in support and bringing awareness to others
  • When in locked facilities, sometimes need to be reminded to be patient and compassionate with others locked up too, to be kind and patient with others who are sick.
  • Adopting a respectful, holistic stance
  • Look at mental health from within traditional cultural lens and relate it to spirit/nature.
  • Developing rituals for the self in order to prepare for those times when we know that will be hard, especially around anniversaries of death for loved ones, traumatic events – a way to remember in a healthy way
  • Journaling
  • Writing
  • Being present
  • Put sticky notes up w/happy reminders
  • Taking ‘one day at a time.’
  • Celebrate the small steps/achievements
  • Hold onto the happy memories
  • Change mindset from problems to solutions
  • Learning how to love self
  • Practicing positive self talk
  • Reciting positive affirmations
  • Reading self-help books
  • Doing self-inventories
  • Shift perspective or way of thinking
  • Finding balance – you know yourself deep down inside, you know what you need to do for yourself, you are your own healer.
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Tell yourself “let it go, it’s okay, be patient.”
  • Accepting the things that are good, inviting in the good, celebrating the good
  • Sit and take time by myself, work it out in my head
  • Focus on taking care of self, do something for yourself
  • Study
  • Meditating
  • Sit by yourself
  • Taking opportunities for change and growth – not just venting, but what can we do about it
  • Able to learn about parenting and raising daughter
  • Crying – having someone to cry with
  • Developing safety plans that identify triggers and coping skills
  • Safe space to think and work
  • Alone time gives me time to think
  • Praying for blue skies/ happier times ahead
  • Spirituality – prayer
  • Sitting in a park
  • Sitting by a tree
  • Practicing self care- nutrition, exercise, body work, etc.
  • Practicing forgiveness
  • Practicing being grateful

Exercise

 Exercise is good for our bodies, but it is also good for our minds. Bodies are built to move and built to help us feel good. Exercise releases endorphins (chemicals in your brain) that makes a person feel good after or during physical exertion. Exercise can help a person get out of their head or help clear busy minds. Exercise can also shift the way a person feels in their body. Some people report feeling stronger, more capable, more flexible, or more skilled. Exercise can also give us a chance to feel our bodies in new and healthy ways. Exercise can help us to learn to be present in our bodies and in the moment. Exercise can be social or solitary, indoor or out, gentle or vigorous.

Examples of Exercise based Healing Practices:

  • Boxing
  • Dancing   –
    • Salsa dancing
  • Dragon Boats
  • Being active
  • Sports
  • Hiking
  • Martial Arts
  • Movement
  • Rugby
  • Running
  • Swimming
  • Walking  –
    • Long walks
  • Weight lifting – “Getting strong” physically – weight training, self defense*
  • Yoga

Expressing Emotions

Much of the pain around trauma is the silence and sense of isolation. Expressing emotion is an important part of healing. Too often we bottle up our emotions or stuff it down with the hopes that it will just go away. Other times, we lose control and feel overwhelmed by our emotions. When we work to express emotions often, in safe ways, and in safe environments, we work towards health. Emotions are a natural tool we have built into help us manage our lives. Our emotions have useful information for us. Expressing emotion can be done alone or with others and in various ways – with words, actions, writing, art, tears or smiles.

Examples of Expressing Emotion Healing Practices:

  • Crying  –
    • Release, let out emotions, allow self to be sad
    • Crying (having someone to cry with)
  • Humor  –
    • Play, laugh, joke
    • Be silly
  • Sleeping
  • Taking the time to withdraw, time to be alone
  • Telling your story  –
    • Story sharing, narratives
    • Needs to be in a safe space, with peers, non-judgmental
    • “Need to talk a lot. I need to tell my story as many times as I need to.”
  • Vent
  • Writing  –
    • Journal
    • Letters to express myself (then talk about it)
  • Yelling or screaming
  • Youth need to vent stress

Medication

Sometimes therapy is not enough. Other times, we want to see results as fast a possible. At these times, some people turn to medication as a way to manage or support their healing. Medication works directly on the chemicals in the body and brain to adjust how we feel. Adjusting how we feel can change what we do. Medication allows people to feel differently without the need to talk which for some people can be difficult. (Please note: Not all medications work for all people. With the help of a qualified health care professional, it is important to find the right medication in the right dosage as each person is different.) Medications can be prescribed from a psychiatrist or other health providers with various approaches (for example, Homeopathy, Traditional Healers, Chinese Medicine, etc.)

Examples of Medication Healing Practices:

  • Medications for physical symptoms
  • Naturopathic/herbal remedies
  • Psychotropic medication  – examples
    • Antidepressants, mood stabilizers
    • Prozac

Qualities of Healthy Relationships

Humans need relationships and social connections to survive, feel whole, and be at ease. However, not just, or all, relationships are good for a person’s healing. Some relationships fill the need to be connected while also causing a lot of stress, struggle, and pain. These relationships may complicate or limit a person’s capacity to heal. When we are healing, we need to be around people and in relationships that are safe, supportive, and restorative.

Examples of Qualities of Healthy Relationships:

  • Cut out toxic people
  • Getting everyday support with technical things (i.e. having case manager or someone from St. Mary’s to help with fixing cable when broken, making payments over the phone, internet, etc.)
  • Being with an agency where I’m understood, everyone is equal, everyone is family.
  • Treat others the way you want to be treated, especially when you are in locked up situations.
  • Connecting with people that make you feel loved or special.
  • Feeling acceptance.
  • Re-learning to trust other people. Feeling that people are trustworthy is healing.
  • People offering verbal praise, noticing strengths, repeated messages of goodness.
  • Using good boundaries
  • Love
  • Need to hear information from the right person.
  • Role models
  • Sometimes a person needs a reality check (this motivates people to go into this work and then have a person to share with that others feels safe and can trust).
  • Case management with an individual who cares and is compassionate
  • Being accepted at St. Mary’s for exactly who I am.
  • Praise children and focus on the positive with them. It is good for them to hear the positive and praise. It increases their good behavior.
  • Having my experiences validated (re: hearing voices or seeing things)
  • Continuing to be there for someone even if they fail the first time
  • Mentors
  • Feeling acceptance
  • Make others laugh and smile
  • Inviting people into your homes and share with friends (COMMUNITY)
  • Commitment from others and providers
  • Need to talk a lot. I need to tell my story as many times as I need to.
  • Connecting with family
  • Family
  • Marriage
  • Providers who “take their time” and do not rush the client.
  • Being in supportive therapeutic settings.
  • Therapy from someone based in the community (not in an office).
  • Trusting providers
  • Being a mother
  • Having children – being a parent
  • One-on-one relationship help you grow from within.
  • Organizations that foster connection with each other.
  • In an inpatient setting, having someone who genuinely asks how you are makes such a difference, and having someone on staff who has been there too makes the healing process easier.
  • Someone there to help give you hope – it puts the strength in your heart
  • Being in support to others, bringing awareness to other
  • When in locked facilities, sometimes need to be reminded to be patient and compassionate with others locked up too – to be kind and patient with others who are sick.
  • Adopting/maintaining a respectful stance – a holistic stance.
  • Go to dinner with a friend
  • Pets – giving care to something else, being relied on
  • Unconditional love and support

Basic Needs

If our basic needs are not met, we will have a very hard time focusing on healing from trauma. If we are in survival mode, we will not have the energy, focus, or stamina to do the work of healing. Ideally we should have food, shelter, and clothing before or while we do the difficult work of healing.

Examples of Basic Needs Healing Practices are:

  • ESL classes
  • Employment opportunities
    • Being employed feels good. It is empowering. It helps with living costs.
  • Family/friends giving unconditional love, staying connected, offering tough love and financial support
  • Getting help with managing money
  • Receiving financial assistance
  • Getting everyday support with technical things (i.e. having case manager or someone from St. Mary’s support you by fixing cable when broken, making payments over the phone, internet, etc.)
  • Feeling safe
  • Having a roof over head where it is safe then able to work on the trauma and healing and problems
  • Having a bed to sleep in
  • Getting off the street
  • Shelters (a place to be with my children while I healed)
  • Safe space on Friday night for youth to go to

Culture Specific

There are many ways to heal and some of them are specific to a person’s culture or ethnicity. Often, these healing practices feel more familiar to us or “speak to us” in an important way. Culture specific healing can be empowering, provide a needed link to community, and create a sense of belonging.   

Examples of Culture Specific Healing Practices:

  • Cultural events – funerals, weddings etc. – because they are times when everyone comes together
  • Tibetan Sunday school in Berkeley to help teach traditions and rituals
  • Support from traditional healers within community
  • Watching Hindi movies
  • Having support that is culturally aware and respectful
  • Being culturally understood
  • Being with an agency where I’m understood, everyone is equal, everyone family
  • Traditional counselor
  • Community specific clinics, programs, and resources (Latino)
  • Coming to the Afghan coalition for support and a chance to be with other Afghanis
  • Learning black culture – getting involved
  • Afghani TV stations having trained psychiatrists talk about mental health awareness
  • Cross cultural connection with other youth of color
  • Relatable people (within same ethnic group, same experience)
  • Talking with others at Afghan Coalition
  • Meeting one-on-one with advocate from within culture
  • Website for mental health and Afghani people
  • Look at mental health from a traditional cultural lens and relate it to spirit/nature
  • Having safe “queer” space
  • Sharing traditional food with friends and family

Other

There are various other practices that can aid in healing and recovery. Some possible activities/ practices include pets, gardening, self defense, watching cartoons, etc. These activities can create a tactile experience for individuals and provide a sense of calm and connection with the world around them. These activities can also serve as a calming experience in order to allow the mind to quiet and engage entirely on the activity at hand.

Examples of Other Healing Practices:

  • Animals –
    • Being a dog rescuer
    • Pets
    • Cat, animal, or pet therapy
  • Basic Needs –
    • Shelters (a place to be with my children while I healed)
  • ‘Best Now’ Program
  • Celebrating the youth
  • Culture  –
    • Visits from dignitaries from your culture
    • Website for mental health and afghani people
    • Telanovelas (Spanish soap operas) (Especially ones that talk about mental health in some capacity. It is a way for community members to talk about mental health indirectly, lessens stigma.)
    • Having support that is culturally aware and respectful
    • Culturally understood
    • Afghani TV stations having trained psychiatrists talking about mental health awareness
  • Dance  –
    • Breakdancing
    • Line dancing
    • Salsa
  • Eating Healthy
  • Education –
    • College/education
    • Adult ed classes
  • Fasting, cleansing
  • Financial Assistance  –
    • Getting help with managing money
    • Receiving financial assistance
  • Healthy Relationships –
    • Connecting with people that make you feel lived and special.
  • Holistic treatment (whole self)
  • Inspiration  –
    • The need to make meaning out of difficult experiences
    • “Connecting to goodness”  my own and that of others
    • Accepting what has happened
    • Adapt to new situations
    • Learning to accept life as is
    • Not thinking about the past when possible
    • Don’t do things that made me feel bad
    • Not being judged
    • Coming to terms that pain will just always be there, but learning to accept
    • Forgiveness of those who harmed me
  • Nature  –
    • Visit the ocean
    • Seeing the circle of life in flowers
  • Non traditional ways of healing
  • Parenting  –
    • Being a mother
    • Being a parent
    • Hoping for better life for children
  • Rehab
  • Ritual  –
    • Putting flowers in the water for those lost
    • Grieving ritual
    • Lighting a candle in remembrance or for hope
  • Rock Bottom –
    • Experience jail or rock bottom for self.
  • Safe spaces/Safety
    • Feeling safe
    • Keeping physical environment clean
    • Surrounding self only with those I trust
  • Spiritual Healing/Spirituality
    • Holding/touching the Koran
  • Staying Busy
  • Time –
    • Doing healing in stages
    • Gradual detox